Comptine Des Morts

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A blog about things that matter to me.
Beautiful things,
important things,
nice sounding things,
life changing things,
masterfully crafted things,
or two things,
this thing, that thing,
pointless things,
miss thing,
anything and everything.

21. Male. England
Muslim, Gay, Proud


I wasn’t entirely away - I was here and there and sometimes somewhere in between and occasionally I was entirely removed altogether. If I’m honest the numbness has anything but subsided, if anything I feel more alienated from everyone and everything around me than ever, but I guess the difference is I don’t see that as a wholly bad thing anymore. I’ve experienced things and people in the last year or so in a way that has opened my eyes to the possibilities of the world. I’ve greatly broadened my understanding of many things both academic and otherwise and now I find pleasure in acquiring knowledge above all other things. Having said that my situation hasn’t improved very much and I still find myself stifled by many things that have always been there, I just think I’ve learned to deal with some of them in a less destructive way than before. I’m still unyieldingly miserable and constantly think about offing myself but I take it in my stride, I hope.


Seriously I’ve been back for like 5 minutes and i already get one of these…

You say in your mind it has always been clear to you that it is haram. Please tell me where you get your evidence that two loving people starting a relationship who just so happen to be of the same sex is haram, and where exactly it is your clarity comes from.

I am of the belief that unless something is expressly stated as haram or forbidden by the Qur’an and Hadith, it is Halal. Of course things that cause harm or distress to any individual or to the cause of Islam can not be halal, but that goes without saying, as Allah invites us to use our own knowledge and sense as well when discussing these matters. (If you think gay marriage will harm the cause of islam and that’s the reason it’s haraam then eurgh go away)


I think this is going to be my last post on this blog. I think I’ve exhausted all it can do for me, so I’m going to stop. For now, at least. 

If you still do wanna talk, feel free to message me (off anon) and I’ll gladly hook you up with skype, facebook, twitter or whatever you want. I wanna thank everyone who’s followed me and thought that what i have to say has been worthwhile, i appreciate it more than you know. 

I’ve become numb and I need to feel things again. Maybe this is one of the reasons.

So this girl behind me has been talking on the phone for the entirety of this chemistry lecture. she has jammed the phone in her hijab for a discreet hansfree kit. crafty, crafty girl. 

screaming ‘take your fucking colease’ at a woman probably isnt the best way to consult a patient. oh well, she was asking for it.

But I don’t really get you,

You sound as if Florence Welch and Patrick Wolf had a child who was a really lazy singer, trained by Nicki Minaj.

Listened to your album twice. Nothing.

Time to lie on my bed, close my eyes and listen to Brand New on vinyl all night.


Hello! Thank you.

This is the sort of thing that’s always going to be debated as there is no clear ruling. The Quran or Hadith to not explicitly state that homosexuality is haraam, however people use the example of the prophet Lot’s peoples’ destruction as a way to justify the condemnation of homosexuals. The people of Lot committed many sins, inhospitality, adultery, lying, stealing, torture, and the neglect of their rights as providers for a family.

Islam’s main purpose in this world is to maintain a society of equality and justice. What Lot’s people did threatened to break apart the moral fabric of this society. The men left their wives to have sex with other men and boys.

I think this is where the sin lies, the disregard for duty and satiation of desire. This is also where I think that a halal muslim gay marriage can occur. Islam is about intention. If you intend to leave your wive and cheat on her with a man or woman, obviously that is wrong, however if you intend to (as a male) marry a partner and have a family with him that can be halal.

People also say that gay men should just marry women to fit in. This is a disgusting statement that belittles both the man and the woman. A marriage is not a means to an end. I know I could never bring myself to love a woman with all she deserves, and it’s selfish and cruel of me to think i can do so to keep up social norms. 

To summarise, I’m of the opinion that God is all loving and ever merciful. He looks to our intentions and acts accordingly. 

If I’m wrong, God made me gay out of cruelty, and I don’t think that’s the case.

I’m sorry I took a while to reply, I’ve had a busy weekend! I hope this answers your question :)

*I just want to add what a very good friend of mine once told me. People have Islam the wrong way round. They believe that everything is haraam until it is made halal, whereas the opposite is true. Everything is halal until it is misused by man and therefore made haraam. Alcohol was halal, the companions of the Prophet used to drink it, and then it was made haraam after fights broke out and people drank before the prayers. People think islam is a suffocating cocoon, this is not true. People suffocate each other using Islam, when it is truly the simplest religion.

Words can’t describe how incredible Brand New were tonight.

More in the morrow.